Campaign 1: Armek

2006-11-07T14:04:00.000-08:00

Who's Playing?: There are currently six players (and three ex-players): Dave, Justin, Mark, Paul, Steve, and Steve. Ed and Mike were playing initially, but tragically died. Chris played for a bit in the middle. Rob is the GM. We started this in February 2005, and it's mostly Mark's fault.

The PC's:
Brogg the Halfbreed (Mark): A half-orc cleric/fighter. He's a priest of Grisbane, God of half-breeds, currently on a mission to destroy all fake half-breeds (like owlbears). The Church of Grisbane has recently been hurt by some atheistic monks, so Brogg is also trying to help the Church recover its past glory. Brogg is the moral conscience of the party, as much as there is one to be had.

Dave, Fist of Odin (Dave): A human cleric. Dave, Fist of Odin, is a priest of Odin. A charismatic, hard-drinking guy, Dave mostly just likes to fight guys and summon beasts to fight with him.

Marivhon the Monk (Paul): A half-elf monk. Yeah, I know, by 1E rules, half-elves can't be monks. But the Church of Grisbane felt sorry for the poor guy, and let him be one anyway, because his wisdom sucks so bad he'd never get to cast cleric spells. Marivhon likes to post in all lower-case, sans punctuation, late at night while drunk on gin. UPDATE! It turns out Marivhon only rarely posts while drunk on gin! He's really drinking a more unusual Dutch liquor called Berenbourge or something. And he likes to use correct grammar when the feeling strikes him!

Schmektor (Steve): A human fighter, I think. Another new member of the party, Schmektor loves to do battle and post more than Cinder. Enjoy his exploits!

Moth (Justin): A fighter/magic-user/thief, half-elven, with three times the skills for one-third xp! And yet another new member of the party. Moth is a scrappy adventurer on a quest for great shoes.

King Tut (The other Steve): A human accountant. Tut was the Royal Accountant to the Greyhelm family before the Knights of Armek forced them to seal off their castle. Tut went crazy from isolation and eating imp dung, and harbors fantasies that he's an extraterrestrial pharoah from beyond time. OR IS HE? Stay tuned to find out! UPDATE! Tut is a Bushi. That's an Oriental Adventures fighter, basically.

NPC's of Note:
Mike the Zombie 1k: Mike the zombie used to be a PC, Mike the Thief, until Gregory Vrill magic-missiled the hell out of him, killed him, and then reanimated him. However, the reanimation magic was particularly potent and left him in control of his own zombie body. Mike is pretty happy being a zombie thief and generally hangs out with the party. He's a proficient long-distance runner, so despite his crappy zombie movement rate, he can keep up with the PCs. UPDATE! Mike is dead and being tortured in Hell. (Or, strictly speaking, 'The Abyss'.)
Abbey: A powerful magic-user in the body of a young girl. Abby was the daughter of the infamous magic-user Gregory Vrill, until Mike the zombie and his zombie pals brutally killed her. Mike then animated her head and dressed her in a gown that dangles below her floating head. Abby, now 'Abbey' was then returned from the dead by her father, and now apparently wields fearsome magical abilities. But who's side is she on, and what does she want with the White Book of Poppies? UPDATE! Abbey is so powerful she almost destroyed our whole fucking blog.
Arvid: Half-Orc Grisbanic priest, buddy of Brogg. Watch for an 11th hour power-play by this little known NPC!
Aaron Orcsides: Grisbanic priest, killed by the Knights of Armek in the destruction of Greyhelm.
Barnabus Slide: Head of the Backdoor Gentlemen in Port Fflar. Apparently, he has a dance move named after him.
Broch: A Blackwall thief buddy of Cinder's.Cinder the Thief: A human thief. Cinder is a ruthless backstabbing bad-ass who once stole a baby just to sell it for gps. He's a master of disguise and theft, at least as much as crappy low-level thief stats let him be. Cinder enjoys xps and gps. UPDATE! Cinder was killed in a freak griffon-related accident in Grito! He was brought back thanks to the power of the Druid Smallwood and his friends. Uh, not the Druid Smallwood's friends, Cinder's friends. Who paid the druid... whatever, anyway, Cinder was reanimated in the body of Ralph the half-bugbear! So Cinder mainly hangs out with Gregolas adjusting to his new identity.
Charles: A Blackwall thief buddy of Cinder's. Hangs out at Shady Orchards.
The Crystal G: Alien rapper from other dimension. Defeated in the Realm of Glass, but have the PCs heard the last of his rhymes? UPDATE! Apparently not! The Crystal G, now called 'Crys Love', took first place in the Cold Cut Collective rap battle, totally owning the PCs before disappearing without claiming his golden crown. Whomever can find this mysterious MC has been promised a big reward. UPDATE! Crys Love is about to release a hot new mp3-only album, which is guaranteed to go straight to the top.
Druid Smallwood: Fought the party after the party killed the werewolf Mayor of Grito. Almost lost, turned into a sparrow and flew away.
Brian Smallwood: Son of the Druid Smallwood, Brian is one of Gregolas's pals, whom Greg hired on as 'TiVo Boy', to watch a bunch of shows for him and save the best ones to Gregolas's new TiVo.
Guildmaster Grimes: Blackwall Thief Guildmaster of Greyhelm.
Gregolas Half-Elven: Gregolas is a half-elf who's also sort of a priest of Grisbane. But mostly he just likes to hang out and get baked. UPDATE! Gregolas bought a TiVo with all his hard-earned gps from adventuring. He's currently going through the back seasons of 'MacGuyver'.
Gregory Vrill: If there's a main villain in the campaign, this is him. Gregory Vrill, MPG, is the ex-master of the Grito Potion Guild. A powerful alchemist and magic-user, the PCs have basically been foiling all of his plans, chasing him across the country, and trying to kill him once and for all. Vrill seems obsessed with saving the world from the Knights of Armek, but no one knows what the hell he's talking about. Gregory Vrill has his own blog: http://www.potionguild.blogspot.com, so you can get his perspective on the campaign, although he's sort of a bitch. UPDATE! Gregory Vrill has finally been murdered. The PCs did him in, and now he's dead. (But apparently still 'blogging' from Hello Airport, a strange underworld dimension that isn't quite Hell.) UPDATE! Gregory Vrill is back from the dead, and on an adventure with some other adventuring pals! Will he save the world before the PCs murder him again? UPDATE! Gregory Vrill just killed Croatius and has become a demi-god. Pretty good turn of events for the once-middle-management-cum-border-collie-trainer from the Grito Potion Guild.
Grettin and Shettin: Grisbanic Half-Ettin Elder(s). Sent Brogg on the quest to kill the unicorns plaguing the Durth Mining Complex. One body, two heads, one kickass Gameboy +2. I can never remember which one is the smart one and which one is the dumb one, so I just refer to Grettin and Shettin as 'the High Priest'.
Halfling Dan: A short, cynical, kleptomaniac, misogynist. Dan is a Blackwall thief that was sent to Grito to help establish "operations".
Jurgen:A Blackwall thief buddy of Cinder's.
Leuco: Half-elf/troll archer who is sworn to kill Brogg over some business having to with whether or not Chimeras are Half-Breeds. Leuco's been pretty busy, you know, with some stuff so he hasn't made an appearance lately. Besides, he thinks he kicked Brogg's ass, when really it was just the anti-Brogg created by Vrill's magic mirror.
Lindsey Urkles: Grimes' personal accountant. Pretty stuffy guy.
Ron Ball: A priest of the god JESUS, who was hanging out in Hello Airport with dead Vrill. UPDATE! Ron Ball is back to life and again adventuring with Vrill in another dimension. But will the power of JESUS help him there?
Louis Thorton: Head of Blackwalls in Port Fflar. Has an ogre body guard named Sir Bryan.
The Mysterious X: The Grand Master of Flowers. Yeah, a 17th level monk who's in charge of the Monks of Progress. The MoP are devoted to teaching people how to live independent of the gods, thus undermining all clerical faiths and cleric magic in general. So the PCs hate this guy, but, you know, he's the Grand Master, so they can't really do much about it. UPDATE! The Mysterious X's new book is finally out... you can pick up copies on amazon.com or Barnes and Nobles.
Oracle of Gryss: A mighty seer of Grisbane hiding out in the Realm of Glass. He predicted many dire things for the PCs, some of which have started to come true...
Ralph: Half-Bugbear Grisbanic priest, buddy of Brogg. Know Ralph by his freakishly large head. UPDATE! Ralph died of prostate cancer recently. But the Druid Smallwood reanimated Cinder the thief into Ralph's cancerous body! It's a match made in sit-com heaven. Read on for the interesting adventures and life experiences that Cinder/Ralph will be having.
R. Bennett: A famous contemporary painter who has recently gone missing. He lived in the artist community of Redwood Ville near Port Fflar.
Reginald Geisler: A playwrite and bard, best known for his musical 'Kobold Pete'. Reginald may be a distant relative of Renwick the Magic-user.
Renwick Geisler the Magic-User (Chris): A human magic-user. A new member of the party, low on spells and hitpoints, but high on courage. Left the party after tragically dying at the hands of Abbey.
Ronald Greetles: Greetles is a kobold. He used to be a slave of Vrill's, but the PCs freed him when they ran Vrill out of Grito way back when. While the PCs adventured around, they let Greetles run their farm, which he dubbed 'Shady Orchards'. The farm did so well, that after the PCs accidentally murdered the mayor of Grito, they rigged an election and voted Greetles into office. So R. Greetles is the kobold mayor of Grito. He also writes Raistlin fanfic under the nom de plume 'Fizbane666'.
Shi Jukka: Monk of Progress. Help train Marivhon once.
Stanislaus the Illusionist: As his title indicates, Stanislaus is an illusionist. He's currently building the Tower of Illusion (a dungeon for characters level 4-12) outside of Grito. He helped Greetles get into office via some illusion magic, but the PCs do not seem to trust him because, you know, he's an illusionist.
Master Steve: Potion Guild Apprentice of Gregory Vrill. Likes Owlbears. UPDATE! Apprentice Steve is no longer an Apprentice! After somehow dispatching all the undead infesting the temple of Grisbane, Steve is now Master Steve, MPG, Master of the new Grito Potion Guild: Ye Potione Guilde. Has his own blog: http://www.apprenticesteve1000.blogspot.comUPDATE! Steve is dead. Marivhon killed him, just cuz.
Willowby Caruthers: Gregory Vrill's Lawyer.
ZOM-G: A little robot from annother world. ZOM-G is apparently a 'Phase II' Knight of Armek, a deadly killing machine with a somewhat juvenile sense of humor. In his spare time, Zom likes to troll 4chan searching for the legendary Double Princess. DESU

Executive Summary of Events Thus Far:
The PCs started out on a simple mission: stop the owlbear attacks on the peaceful village of Grito! They chanced upon a conspiracy in which the Guildmaster of the Grito Potion Guild, Gregory Vrill, was building an army of owlbears. (He claimed it was in preparation to fight the Knights of Armek, which no one else knows anything about.)
The PCs defeated a couple owlbears, but were captured by Vrill, who killed Mike the thief and reanimated him as a zombie. After a heroic struggle, the PCs escaped from jail, ran Vrill out of town, and convinced the mayor and townsfolk that they were heroes who had saved Grito from an evil magic-user. In return they were given a farmhouse, and let their new friend Ronald Greetles, kobold assistant to Vrill, tend the gardens.
The PCs went to the capital city Greyhelm after Vrill. Cinder joined the Blackwall Thiefs, a powerful thieves' guild, and in disguise, learned of Vrill's backup plan. Together with a paladin and a priestess of Isaac of the Jug, god of pity, Vrill was going to the Ancient Weather Station of the Ancients to turn on a big storm machine. (The idea being that the storm would rust the armor of the Knights of Armek, thus saving Greyhelm.)
The PCs planned to ambush Vrill and stop his plan, but their attack didn't really go as planned. Instead, the PCs killed Vrill's wife, young daughter, and all his border collies, before losing the fight to Vrill and friends. Vrill captured Cinder and took him off to the weather station, while the PCs tried to recoup. Meanwhile, Mike turned Abby's head into a bizarre floating zombie.
After Vrill to the weather station. It was a tough fight, but somehow Vrill escaped again, leaving the priestess and paladin dead. The PCs pursued Vrill on through a magic gate, that took them across the country to...
Durth, the mountainous mining city. There, the PCs spent some time relaxing in the halls of the churches of Odin and Grisbane. Brogg learned that he was the 'Champion of Grisbane', and that all creatures that weren't true half-breeds (e.g., owlbears), needed to be destroyed. However, due to some obscure theological point, Brogg's efforts would be opposed by a kick-ass half-elf/half-troll cleric/ranger named Leuco. Oh, and he needed to go kill Andicorn, King of Unicorns, who lived in the caves beneath town. Plus, Dave learned that the valkyrie of Odin, Grunna, had recently been captured by the Monks of Progress.
Setting aside their hate of Vrill, the PCs ventured into the mountains. They killed Andicorn and his band of unicorn thugs, and journeyed to Grunna's old demesne, now the shrine of the Monks of Progress. They fought well and killed many monks, but in the end, the Grand Master of Flowers (Mysterious X) defeated them.
Disheartened, they returned to Durth, then to Grito, as news of the victory of the Monks of Progress over the gods spread across the land. Even back home, they had their share of troubles- it seemed that a werewolf was stealing zombie farmers! So the PCs hunted down the werewolf and killed it. It happened to be the mayor of Grito though. Thus it was that they held an election for the new mayor, and with the help of a cunning illusionist, Stanislaus the Illusionist, Ronald Greetles was voted in as mayor.
The PCs received news that a restraining order had been filed against them by Gregory Vrill, so they decided to head down to Greyhelm and finish off their old adversary once and for all. However, once there, they fell into Vrill's trap! Vrill used a strange giant mirror to send the PCs to a bizarre realm of strange and silent places, including a girl's tomb guarded by a small knight.
Working together, the PCs figured out how to leave the mirror world, and returned to their own dimension. However, they found that much had changed! While only days passed in the mirror world, over a year had passed in the real world! The capital city, Greyhelm, was destroyed by the Knights of Armek, seemingly the same as the guardian knight in the mirror world tomb. The survivors of the Greyhelm massacre fled to Grito. Even worse, Gregory Vrill was the new Burghermeister of Grito, and his friends were mirror-clones of the PCs made by the magic mirror. The PCs sought the help of Stanislaus, master of the now-completed Tower of Illusion. He disguised them as bugbears so they could sneak back into their old farm, Shady Orchards, now Vrill's home, and end this once and for all. After a climatic, exciting, invigorating battle, the PCs were victorious! Master Gregory Vrill was murdered and the day was sort of saved. But the Knights of Armek still run rampant, and Vrill still 'blogs' from the underworld.
Events tend to take turns for the strange and awful. Although defeating Vrill and placing second in an intense rap battle at the Cold Cut Collective, a mighty death knight named Lord Skullbones wrecked havoc in Grito and the temple of Grisbane. While Apprentice Steve saved the day, and became the new Master of the Grito Potion Guild, the PCs were all killed by the death knight's magic. And Abbey, who turned the PCs into her undead servants and commanded them to go after her father in the underworld, and retrieve for her the secrets of the mysterious 'White Book of Poppies'...
Well, they didn't kill Vrill, and they didn't get the book. Instead, they teamed up with Vrill, who escaped from Hello just fine, leaving the PCs to enslave themselves to Zelba, goddess of the undead. Now they're back, and pissed, and after Vrill one last time, on an epic quest into the heart of Castle Greyhelm... to destroy the Knights of Armek, murder Gregory Vrill, get back their souls, save the world, and find true love.
Making their way through the Castle, up to the top floor, and beyond, into the Realm of Croatius- behind the mirror. After Vrill, and against Vrill. The final showdown was fuelled by blood, potions, and hate. Finally, with no time left, the gang used the White Lotus to resurrect the incarnation of Zelba, who put an end to Vrill's nonsense once and for all, with a little help from the PCs swords and spells. And so it was that Croatius was laid to rest, Zelba was reintegrated, and Vrill was destroyed. The end.

go blog!

2005-06-05T18:56:00.000-07:00

yeah

hell yeah

DID Campaign

Campaign 1: Armek

go blog!